Therapy
Weston started seeing a therapist the week after the hearing date got set — Dr. Yuki Tanaka, recommended by Faye almost like a condition, though nobody made it official. If you want any chance at supervised visitation later, judges like to see effort, she'd said. I don't think that's why he actually went. I think he went because the recording had cracked something open that had been sealed for thirty years, and once it was open, he couldn't get it shut again.
He told me about the sessions in fragments, over stilted phone calls where Jasper babbled in the background and neither of us knew how to end the conversation gracefully.
"She keeps asking about specific memories," he said. "Not general stuff. Specific. Like — what room. What time of day. What she said before."
"What do you tell her?"
"I used to think I didn't remember much. Turns out I remember more than I thought. I just never let myself call it anything."
He told me about the belt that lived on a hook in the pantry, not in a drawer with the other belts — how by age six he already knew the difference between the hook and the drawer, knew what each one meant when his mother reached for it. He told me about a phrase she used, the same one, apparently, for thirty years: this is because I love you enough to fix you.
I thought about just don't leave marks this time and understood, finally, that it wasn't cruelty dressed as caution. It was inheritance. He'd learned the rule as a child — hide it, manage it, keep it from getting bad enough to be seen — and he'd been running that rule on his own son without ever deciding to.
"Dr. Tanaka asked me something today," he said, near the end of one call, his voice gone strange and careful. "She asked if I had any siblings."
"You have Ingrid."
"Right." A pause too long to be nothing. "She asked if Ingrid remembered it the same way I did. I told her I didn't know. I've never actually asked my sister what she remembers."
"Why not?"
"Because I think I already know the answer," he said. "And I don't think I'm ready to hear it out loud."